Underground: Tales from Buenos Aires, Argentina

LA CUCARACHA

A really weird thing happened to me today.  In my small, rural town of California cockroaches sightings are not a common.    So today, I saw an enormous cockroach on the counter in the kitchen of my house (gross!!!!).  I screamed (I’m really wimpy when it comes to insects).

The weird thing was, the cockroach looked at me.  I swear it looked straight into my eyes.  In that silent moment, I felt a connection between us.  As if we both recognized something of ourselves in the other and our connection to the eternal conflict prey and predator.  Then the moment was broken, and then we both ran.  Well, the cockroach scurried and I ran to the counter.  The cockroach ran into silverware drawer (gross, gross, gross!!!).  I looked around for something to kill it with, muttering and swearing to myself.  I found an OHLALA magazine, which I rolled up in one hand and ran back to the silverware drawer.

I tentatively opened the silverware drawer and poked into it rather deeply with the magazine.  The cockroach jumped at least five inches into the air. (I’m not kidding.)  It scuttled up some of the big wooden spoons and leaped out of the drawer and under a stack of wooden shelves on the floor.  (We have a very strange kitchen set up made up almost entirely of found or gifted furniture 🙂  I tried to hit the cockroach with the magazine as it ran across the drawers but it went into a crack so I missed.  Damn.  This gave the cockroach the opportunity it needed to escape under the fridge.

My heart was racing as I grabbed the can of “roach” or whatever its called here and repeatedly sprayed under the fridge.  I didn’t see the cockroach and I feared that I had missed and it was still alive under there.  Ten minutes later I checked under the fridge again, this time poking with the broom.  I spotted the cockroach on the side of the fridge, turned over on it’s back and wriggling its legs in agony.  I felt bad.  “Sorry dude,” I said and sprayed again, this time for the kill.  I sprayed and sprayed but the writhing of the cockroach just got more and more intense.   I felt paralyzed.  I didn’t want to watch this poor insect suffering so terribly but at that point I just wanted it to be over.  I kept spraying but I started to feel a little light headed, and not wanting to suffer the same fate as the poor the cockroach, I decided to leave the kitchen and finish watching Seinfeld.  When the show ended ten minutes later the cockroach was dead.

I heard somewhere that if there was ever a nuclear holocaust then cockroaches would the inherit the earth.  They can live without food for over a month and can survive being submerged in water for over an hour and half.  They can survive for months on limited food, such as the glue from the back of a postage stamp.  This cockroach was no exception a mighty foe…

Argentina vs. Uruguay

Wheew, after a very tense game, Argentina has officially qualified for the World Cup in South Africa next year!  Woohoo…go Argentina!!!  And I think Argentina could use the confidence boost right about now.   Unfortunately, the supposed start player, Lionel Messi, has not been the shining star he is supposed to be.  But Argentina is still managing to make it through, even with a coach as unstable as Maradona.  Some of Maradona’s latest tactics involve getting his diamond earing confiscated by the Italian police for money he owes at a wealthy rehab center, threatening to quit his position as coach, publically telling off his critics, allegedly not being able to go to the team practice before noon, and telling the “people who did not believe in him to keep sucking it”, while making a lewd gesture that involved his tongue, cheek, and fist.  Ahh, Maradona, the rock star…

Essential Food Items From the U.S. to Bring to Argentina (for the California palate)

HERE IS A LIST OF FOODS THAT ARE HARD TO FIND IN BUENOS AIRES:

1. maple syrup

2. peanut butter (you can find this, but you may have to go to a few different stores first.  The supermarket, Disco, has it.)

3. baking soda

4. hot sauce

5. protein bars

6. trail mix-nuts and dried fruit (these are really expensive here)

7.  Mexican salsa (canned)

ESSENTIAL SPICES

1. coriander

2. cumin

3. curry

4. pumpkin pie spices

FOODS THAT YOU CAN FIND IN ABUNDANCE

-pizza, empanadas, pasta, meat, salami, cheese

-tomatoes, onions, avocados, peppers, onions, etc.

-chocolate, dulce de leche, pastries, ice cream

-pro biotic yogurts

OTHER POINTS TO CONSIDER

-cilantro is difficult to find but some super markets and fruit stands do sell it

-quality seafood is difficult to find and is expensive

-basically all asian and middle eastern food is of poor quality and difficult to find

-I also recommend bringing some kind of colon cleanse- the fiber craze has not caught on here and with the vast quantities of meat that is eaten here…well…I will say no more on this…

Sundays in the Park

Today was very tranquilo.  Sundays are always like this here.  Everything is closed on Sundays.  So people spend most of their time relaxing with friends and family, having asados, going to the park, and watching futbol.  Today L, Tabique, and I woke up late and made an American breakfast- pancackes, bacon, and eggs.  I brought real maple syrup with me from the states- definitely worth it.  Then we went to a park, a few blocks from our house.

The park is definitely the place to be on Sundays afternoons.  Families and friends are there, drinking mate talking on a patchwork of blankets spread over the grass.  Of course, there are always a multitude of futbol games going on and people blasting Kumbia and Reggaeton on their stereos.

Tabique, L, and I found our own spot among the crowd to drink mate.  Tabique and L discussed thier usual philisophical/scientific topics.  Today they talked about genetics and evolution while I half listened and watched the people…

Cabin Fever

The weather is still decidedly winter, here, in Buenos Aires. Even the news anchors are talking about it. During tonight’s news, they showed people in winter coats, scarfs, hats, and drinking steaming coffees. But…spring is on its way…I hope or I am going to completely loose it…
Great…L just told me that the government is raising taxes on gas and water…
“Why?” I asked L.
“I don’t know…” he shrugged.
“The Spanish government takes the money.”
“What?!” I asked
“I don’t know. Spanish companies own the gas and electricity, so they take the money.”
A few days ago, my friend C, asked if I was becoming really serious and intense and like the Argentines.
I’m beginning to see where the seriousness is coming from…

Baila Salsa!

I went to my first salsa dance class tonight.  It’s at a dance studio two blocks from where I am living.  Calling this class challenging would be a huge understatement.  I consider myself to be an okay dancer.  I know the basic steps but I definitely get confused about mirroring the dance steps of the teacher.  Do I twirl left or right?…but this dance class is something else.  Everyone has had on average 5 years of dance experience.  And so we don’t just do basic salsa.  We have to memorize twirling, dipping, and moves I can’t even describe.  Oh, and did I mention this is all in Spanish?  I think I understand about 20% of what the teacher is saying because the dancing lingo is so specific.

But- I loved it!  At the end of the class we made a circle with a pattern of alternating guys and girls.  The guys all had to step forward and clap and then the girls…Then, remaining in the circle, the guys danced with each girl and on the instructor clap signal, the guys moved clockwise to the next girl.  At the very end of the class, my dance partner, (as instructed by the teacher) lifted me up into the air.  I was not expecting this and was kind of startled, but it was fun.  The most bizarre thing about dance classes in Buenos Aires, though, is when you leave the class, you are expected to kiss EVERYONE.  I was kind of surprised when  one of my classmates kissed me.  Hadn’t we just met?  What did this kiss signify?  Was he hitting on me?  But then he went around the room and kissed everyone.  Nobody seemed surprised.  Then another classmate did the same.  Damn.  Did this mean that I have to kiss everyone too?  I wanted to leave, but I felt really awkward.  So, I lingered near the door for a few minutes thinking about what I should do.  I finally decided to just kiss the people who were standing near the door, pretending I was in a rush.  Then I did sort of awkward wave to the rest of the people and hoped that they would understand that I’m from the US and not used to that kind of thing.  Sometimes, how we do things in the U.S. just makes much more sense.

The Joys of Having a House Cleaner

Today was beautiful day…spring seems to have returned to Buenos Aires. Its been a great start to the week and the best part about Mondays is: Marcelina

The house cleaner came today (I honestly can’t believe I have a house cleaner!!!) She is a miracle worker. She comes after the craziness of the weekend with bottles, dishes, and food everywhere from the weekend’s parties. And she returns the house to its original beauty. Like a rainbow after the storm…sigh…gracias Marcelina!

But it is strange to have a house cleaner. In California, only rich people have house cleaners. So to me, its amusing to find that two guys in their mid-twenties, have a house cleaner…and now that I’m living here, I have one too. Like Jerry Seinfeld, I feel a strange awkwardness and guilt around Marcelina. Should I make her coffee? But then, maybe she will feel that she has to clean the pot. Should I take a shower? But…oh, I think she needs the water…Maybe I will go up to the terrace…oh wait…she just washed the stairs…hmm…maybe I should just stay in bed like L and Tabique until she leaves…They are naturals and seem to have it all figured out…
Among the middle class people of California, descendants of the big ballin’ pioneers or scandalously recent immigrants who, having a house cleaner definitely raises some eyebrows about the laziness that it implies.

We North Americans, definitely like to do it ourselves, in more ways than one. But, when you think about it, it totally makes sense for two twenty-something guys to have a house cleaner. Unless they spend their time being schooled by the Fab 5 and eating sushi off designer plates, guys that age are total slobs. I think the Argentines definitely have a thing or two to show us about living in style. And maybe its high time that this practice be exported to the poor twenty-something year old guys of the U.S. who are right now making top ramen with a plastic fork and a tea kettle because they have no clean dishes.

Argentina vs. Paraguay

Okay, well Argentina just lost to Brazil last weekend 😦 The whole country seems a little depressed (“deprimido” as I learned today in my Spanish class). Now they are playing Paraguay in the World Cup. So far, Paraguay has scored one goal, Argentina- nada. Its almost half time…how will the game end? Everyone is sitting on the edge of their seats y vamos a ver…

Argentina vs. Brazil!

We are all waiting for the big game to start. Argentina will play Brazil as part of the eliminations for the world cup. Some of L and Tabique’s friends are here. We are sitting in el living, stocked up with beer and fernet. Many pizzas have been baked in the preparation. The guys are talking rapidly and chain smoking. And now we wait…

La Tormenta de Santa Rosa

The weather has been rather cold and rainy lately. Last night it rained so hard that it woke me up and I couldn’t return to sleep for a couple of hours. (That was okay with me though because I had been having bad dreams all night about being chased by two men who were intent on killing each other.) Strangely, less than a week ago, it was so warm outside that everyone was in shorts and tank tops, even at night.
I guess this bizarre weather can be explained by a natural phenomenon called “La Tormenta de Santa Rosa.” Supposedly it always happens down here in the southern hemisphere right around the 30th of August, when spring begins to flower. The legend dates back to 1615 when some Dutch pirates tried to attack the city of Lima, Peru around this time of year. A mystic, named Rosa (Isabela Flores de Olivia), knew of the annual spring time storm and divined that the city would be saved. The Dutch pirates were ignorant of this storm that impeded their attack. And so the city of Lima was saved thanks to the divine illuminations of Rosa.
This yearly weather phenomenon should last about 5 days and I think its been just about 5 days now…so hopefully this bad weather will let up soon so the sun will return and the porten~os will return tank tops and dresses and venture out into life outside…